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My husband’s retirement party was in April of 2005. We’d planned this event for years. It was the end of one era of our 36-year marriage and the beginning of the next--where I would have him all to myself.
I can still feel the joy of watching each person greet him and the laughter that filled the air with stories.
He was a beloved surgeon. All of his surgical team was there as well as patients he’d operated on. Our three wonderful children and eight grandchildren were all together for the first time in years. Our children are now contributing young adults with a life of their own.
Tonight’s the night to celebrate. Tomorrow we focus on the travel plans to all corners of the earth. We’ve always been physically fit and eaten well. Now’s our time!
Only three weeks later, May 3, 2005, turned out to be the worst day of our lives.
We’d noticed George’s minor tremors and that he was getting a bit forgetful, but we attributed that to the stress of leaving a profession that he loved. Now he finally scheduled that appointment with his own doctor.
When Dr. Dave mentioned the possibility of Parkinson’s disease we actually thought he was kidding. The look on his face told us he was not.
Neither of us thought we’d begin our golden years with this horrifying news. This was my husband, the love of my life. How could I imagine going on without him? What about all of our plans, dreams and hopes?
I couldn’t afford to get lost in my grief; I needed to support my husband. I did my best to be positive in front of him but I wanted to run away, scream, go back in time ten years, and make it not so. Yet but the reality was right in front of us.
All of the medical experts in the world, and we knew many, couldn’t change what stood before us.
Then a cherished friend suggested I call Ann Golden Eglé, an executive coach with a stellar reputation who lived in Oregon. My friend explained that Ann works with individuals on an executive level, people who are highly accomplished. She’s sophisticated, confidential, and intuitive. I knew that I needed guidance through the maze ahead.
From the first phone call I knew I was in the right place with Ann. Due to her open, calm nature I found myself finally telling her my life story. This was a surprise to me as I am by nature a private individual.
Ann made it easy to explore my sadness. My hopes and dreams were coming to an end with the impending end of my husband’s life. I couldn’t bear what was ahead—the sadness, the loss, the logistics, people, decisions, family. The more I shared with Ann, the more I realized that I needed to share. I needed clarity and direction, not sympathy.
It took no time to trust this voice on the other end of the phone. Perhaps her distance helped-- she was in Oregon, and I was in Texas. Within a short period of time I discovered how important it was to have Ann in my corner. I so desperately needed that outlet.
With Ann’s help, caring for my beloved husband those last two years transitioned from dread to a wonderfully loving experience. I learned to balance the myriad of legal, real estate, tax, and financial issues that required my attention with taking care of ‘me.’
It startled me to hear myself laugh out loud during one of our initial sessions. Of course there were days that I felt I couldn’t do it all. Then, after a session with Ann, I felt refreshed, focused and ready to move forward.
I could not have dreamed up anyone more qualified to take me through this journey of my husband of 36 years dying.
And the funeral was a beautiful experience for the hundreds of friends who loved my husband. My initial trepidation about even planning his funeral turned out to be a lovely experience.
Do I stay in touch with Ann? Of course! Life continues to provide challenges from time to time and I know a session with her is just a phone call away. She’s my secret weapon. My life is blessed and more peaceful knowing that Ann Golden Eglé is in my corner.
The End
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